K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
