I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
