she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
