Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
