it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i dont even know how to be here
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
