people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
