i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
