i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize