I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
