Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
