Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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