No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
