I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
