we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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