What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
