I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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