Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
