Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
