so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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