Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
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