sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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