So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize