Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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