Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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