He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
