Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
