Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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