I think my vagina is haunted
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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