Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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