Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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