6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
