Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
