it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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