why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
where are you?
Hypothermia
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
