# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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