my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
