Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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