my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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