Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
