I am in a vortex of obligation.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
