Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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