My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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