She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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