Ambien. No doubt about it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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