I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
