Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize