Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize