:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He better not be in your backpack
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
