I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
