Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
