if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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