weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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