It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
