Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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