I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize