My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
