i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
