I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
