yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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