Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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