I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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